Let the craziness begin!

It has been a few days since I last posted. My living room has been overrun by my mass of sewing crap, we had to move the baby chicks outside to the garage, I was told they would be stinky free for at least a week... uuuuuh huh, didn't even last a day. My greenhouse is turning in to a jungle and Im begining to worry what will happen to my office/makeshift garden since I apparently cant plant outside until the last part of April at the earliest!

Between the sewing bomb, jungle in my office, 14 putride chicks, 1 shaggy dog in desperate need of a bath and a haircut, one bird in a cage that hasnt seen a human face in days, 1 hamster that likes to stay hidden and makes me worry he died, a flock of quail that have begun visiting my front yard every day and a flock of birds that have been here since we moved in I feel like I am living in this little bubble inside my quiet subdivision. If only people knew what kind of craziness went on behind these walls, i would probably be kicked out! And I didn't even count my own kids!!!

Speaking of kids, our numbers are going to jump a whopping 4 people sometime around June! Baby number 7 for me, my oldest daughter who is currently in Arkansas will be coming back to live here. Dave's 2 girls will be coming sometime this summer one possibly to stay. Holy Moly! This house is going to need to be renamed the asylum... We accept pets and people here.

I am truly excited though, I've always dreamed of a busy crazy home filled with laughter, wet footprints all over the house from summertime sprinklers, dirt under fingernails from working in our garden, and even stinky hands from playing with the dog and the occasional 'treasure' (i.e. bugs, snails, frogs, etc) brought inside to show off.

I regularly daydream about watching my children climbing in and out of the sunflower house with books, pillows and play dishes, watching the chickens wander around the yard lazily pecking away at various bugs and worms (hopefully none are recently aquired 'pets') cooking a light yummy dinner mostly from our garden and serving it on the picnic table outside that is canopied by wisteria and hanging jars filled with flickering candles that glow and twinkle as the sun sets.

It's funny though because this was never the life I intended. I was a clothing designer (still dabble) and traveled to New York, Indianapolis and several other cities, my label was growing and gaining attention then things all came grinding to a halt. I loved my life but it was extremely stressful and I never got to be with my family, 100% with my family. Even if I was sitting with them my mind was on work. It was exciting, fun and terrifying all at the same time.

I gradually slowed down, listing my pieces on Etsy. I found out in November that I was expecting a baby and everything started to change. I wanted to slow everything down, actually I wanted to put everything on hold and concentrate 100% on my family. I can design any time I want, in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, but my children only get one shot at a fantastic childhood, I feel like I am being selfish to spend all of my time on a career that can wait and put them off with a childhood that has a time limit.

So here I go in to full blown stay at home mom mode and I couldnt be happier. I was laying in bed with Dave the other night and told him my desires and needs to stay home full time without the stress of a job always weighing on my mind, I ended up in tears and he kind of just looked at me like I was crazy then, being his wonderful self said, 'then don't work. Sew when you want to sew, and spend all the time you want with the kids, or relaxing, read a book, sit on the couch. As long as you're happy that's all I'm concerned about' Oh my angel of a man. Since that night I have felt so much better. so much lighter. I feel like I have TIME to do all of the things with the kids that I have been wanting desperately to do.

So this will serve as my journal and ocassional venting method. I hope that it helps to get some of the craziness going on in my head to calm down at least enough to let the dust settle for a moment or two!